It was a morning where the kids were up so I had to get up, and Joe was continuing to sleep in, again. There are many days like this in our house: Joe sleeping in, while I’m up with the boys. He always seems to be so tired. It probably stems from the many nights that he has stayed up late into the morning to play games (or get something done that he couldn’t while the boys and I were awake, or to help when the baby decides he doesn’t want to be sleeping right as I’m going to bed).
Most mornings, I’m ok with him sleeping in, and even go to great lengths to let him, because I want him to be able to catch up on the sleep he’s missed, and I’m awake anyways. Most mornings. But there are some mornings where I don’t feel that way at all. I resent him for not getting up when the boys do. I resent him for staying up late so that he feels like he needs to stay sleeping into the morning. I want him to decide to get to bed at a decent time each day, so that he can get up in the morning – at least by the time the boys wake up!
I realize my attitude toward him those mornings, and I want to change it but I can’t. It’s so hard to do. I realize that I can’t make that change by myself – I need to bring it to the Lord. It took me a while the morning it happened this week to do this. I wanted to, but didn’t know how to do it. When you’re being bombarded with kiddo’s crying, it can be hard to change your attitude for the better. So what did I end up doing?
Eventually this is what happened:
- I was able to get away. I went outside and walked around the house holding little Z’s hand. It gave me time to calm down, and stop being overwhelmed.
- During that walk, I told God how I felt, and that I wanted to have a better attitude about the situation.
It wasn’t much, but it was enough to change my attitude. I apologized to Joe for how I felt and acted toward him because of it. I apologized to G because my attitude affected how I spoke to him in the morning. The walk and talk with God calmed my heart and gave me peace. It didn’t change the situation, but God was able to help me change my heart in the situation.
I want to choose to have a good attitude about these things. I don’t know if this situation will ever change, but it doesn’t need to in order for me to act in a way that is pleasing to God. I have the choice to mope or to turn to him and ask him to replace my resentment with His love.
What about you? Is there a situation where you need a heart change? Big or small, let’s bring our feelings to the Lord’s feet, and ask him to change our hearts to His.