I’m tired. The idea in my head is that I need to lay down and get a nap, so I try to do so while my boys are playing downstairs. Then I hear my oldest say, “Uh-oh, he peed!” My son, who has been doing well for months at using the potty, had just peed in his pants, again- the third or fourth time that day. Needless to say, my anger exploded. I didn’t handle the situation how I should have, my frustration was the main event, not a thought of teaching my child in a constructive way.
Afterwards, when I was sitting on the couch, getting ready to try for that nap again, I was hit with the thought that we had just learned about Christ’s compassion in church the day before, and I had failed miserably to be like him in this situation. We had read the story of Jesus feeding the 5000 in Matthew 14:13-21. This happened just after Christ found out about John the Baptist’s death. Jesus had gotten into a boat to sail away from people, to get to a place where he could be by himself and grieve the loss of his friend; but instead of finding the place deserted, there was a crowd waiting for him in the wilderness. He didn’t get back in the boat to find a different place more secluded; he didn’t get upset with the people for interrupting him. Instead he had compassion on them.
1 Peter 2:21 says, “For to this you have been called, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example, so that you might follow in his steps.” It says Christ suffered, and he left us an example so we can live the way he did! In the feeding of the 5000, Christ didn’t let his end goal drive what he did in the meantime. He wanted to be by himself, but he had compassion on the crowds; he healed their sick, and at the end of the day he showed that he could provide for their needs by feeding them until they were satisfied.
This story shows he has compassion on us. He told his disciples to feed the crowds, and they kinda panicked. They had no idea how they were going to do it- they went to search for food, and came back to Jesus and said they had only five loaves and two fish. Jesus said to bring it to him. Then he blessed it and gave it back to the disciples to distribute. He is teaching the disciples how to depend on him and join in his work: “bring what you have, and give it to me- I will bless it and give it back to you. It will be enough for the task I have asked you to do.” In his compassion he teaches us how to live in total dependence on him, and how to love like him.
I realized I let my own goal, getting a nap, drive how I reacted to my children when they needed me. Though the goal in itself isn’t a bad one, I allowed it to drive me to sin because it was my focus, not Christ. I had to admit what I did was wrong, and not at all the way Christ would have acted. I repented and asked my Lord to help me, to give me his heart and compassion. Then I went and apologized to my son for the way I had acted toward him. I struggle with this a lot, but I’m so glad that Christ has compassion on us! He knows we are tempted, and he has been tempted just like us in every way, but was without sin! He knows our weaknesses, and when we come to him, he strengthens us. I’m so grateful for his love and compassion. My prayer is that you will also experience his love and compassion working in your life.