I feel like I need to share with you something that happened a couple weeks ago. I feel like I failed to do something God was asking me to do… and this isn’t the first time.
I missed, yet again, an opportunity to be Christ’s hands and feet to someone as I passed by. I was driving home and I saw a person sitting in the median leaning back on a street light pole. My first thought was something along the lines of I should stop and invite them over to our house for a meal or something… but I would have had to turn around, and then stop on the road to talk to them… I didn’t really want to so I kept on driving. I got onto the highway for home, and again thought I should turn around; then I passed a couple more exits, each time thinking that I should turn around, but still I didn’t; The next exit I realized that I had missed my opportunity to be obedient to what I felt was God’s voice speaking to me.
I think back to the other times I’m pretty sure that God was asking me to do something. I remember each time so clearly. And I feel guilty for failing to be his hands and feet.
Why didn’t I do those things? Usually one of a couple different reasons, or both:
- Inconvenience: usually I would have had to turn around or go out of my way to be in a position to speak to them. It would prevent me from getting my errand done as quickly as I wanted, or from getting home right away.
- Fear: a lot of these opportunities I missed out on were when I was by myself. I have a fear of just going up and talking to people. Or I think about the wisdom of me talking to or giving rides to random people by myself.
The first reason sounds petty – I didn’t help because I’d be inconvenienced? How selfish of me. The second reason sounds kind of like wise thinking… but not really. If God called me to do something I need to obey. It reminds me of the story of a man who felt God calling him to bring food to a family in the middle of a snow storm. He said, Lord, I’m going to die out there in the cold. God said, I never said that you had to come back, I just told you to go. So the man went. In his obedience he saved that family from starvation. And God did bring him through the journey safely.
So I struggle back and forth; I want to obey him, but sometimes I shrink back when he brings these people to me.
Do any of you feel the same way? You’re shrinking back from doing something God has called you to? It’s OK to be struggling. Turn to God and let him know. We don’t need to feel guilty because in Christ there is no condemnation for those who love him! Repent for not obeying him, and ask once again to be used by him for his glory. He’s given us a spirit of courage, not a spirit of fear! When we obey him, it’s his power working through us, not our own!
I’m praying that next time I won’t be afraid, and will choose to obey. I’m praying the same for you. 🙂